I read a book a few years ago called Wild at Heart by John Eldridge, which spoke to the issue of how church life has emasculated men, and how men need not apologize for being, well, men. There is a lot more to the book, and I recommend it to anyone who thinks that church guys are wimps.
My beloved and I got into a discussion last night that got me to thinking about some terms we use to discuss different aspects of relationships, and I have a developing thought (that may not interest anyone else, but it’s my blog and I can type if I want to, type if I want to…); we categorize too much.
Take a few relational terms – intimacy, passion, and desire. Intimacy, by the way, is not sex. Our society equates the two, most inappropriately. Same for passion. By most studies and personal observation, women tend to want intimacy while men crave passion. We both have desires, and hers tend to line up with her desire for intimacy. Mine tend to look more like passion.
Take a look at the world around you. If you agree that there is a Creator behind this world, examine the creation. Ever been to Mt. St. Helens, or some other place where nature’s power has truly been unleashed? Ever seen trees that grow near the Pacific Ocean that are bent by the near-constant breezes? Ever seen the rocky shorelines of either Maine or south-western Ireland? The Creator is not a tame Being. He is wild, untamed, unshaped.
Yes, He did also give us the beauty of the rose. He did give us seas teeming with incredible variety and beauty.
But He also gave us thorns and sharks.
We are created in His spiritual image. It is, whether given credit or not, the driving force behind humanity’s creativity. We want to create, to make something of lasting beauty.
Many of us desire children, but the act of giving birth is both a thing of beauty and an incredibly violent activity.
My point is this: intimacy in the absence of passion is like going to a fine restaurant but eating crackers while a gourmet meal sits in front of you. Passion without intimacy is also lacking; picture going to that fine restaurant and then eating with your fingers (assuming forks, etc. are available and appropriate).
God’s Creation is a beautiful and wild place. Our relationships ought to echo that.
